Southsider? Going to THE MATCH? Never crossed the Liffey? Fearful of odd numbered postcodes? You need an Authorised NORTHSOIDE GUOIDE!

Experienced in the ways and customs of the Northsoide, your guoide will smooth away the stress of your journey, from the river-crossing to the bombsite at the 5 Lamps on the so-called “North Strand” and into the safety of the concrete behemoth Culchie HQ.
All our guides have over 10 years experience, are fully authorised and insured, and are specially trained in the use of the northsoide vernacular including the infamous “No, oim nah bleedin’ lookin’ at you, so wha’? “, and “Spoice burger and chips, an’ a batthered sausidge“.

FREE special offer: A pint of your favourite beverage (Guinness, Guinness or Guinness) at any of The Auld Triangle, The Big Tree, Quinns or Smyths.

ALL THIS CAN BE YOURS FOR THE COST OF JUST ONE MATCH TICKET! APPLY BELOW NOW!

P.S. Special offers: Trip to any of the Roundabout, the Beachcomber or the Goblet (requires upfront hazard pay). For only 1000e we guarantee you to score a local in Clontarf Westwood.

(Yep, I don’t have a ticket)